Religion and Politics

Scott Beach (January 13, 1931 – February 13, 1996) had an interesting career. His voice was his main claim to fame, and earned him jobs both on-screen and off over the years. In addition to a wide range of television and movie rolls he also did a number of years in radio, as disc jockey for KSFO in San Francisco, California, as well as the voice of the San Francisco Opera on KKHI during the 1970s.

In the middle of that same decade he wrote and performed a one-off novelty record that I discovered completely by accident one night at the Tower Records in Mountain View, California. Titled "Religion and Politics, Ya-ta-ta! Ya-ta-ta!" it was presented as though it were one long tirade about the problems of mixing the two things, done in one single deep breath.

Of course it wasn't, but it was one of those "wish I'd have come up with that" things that I played for anyone who'd sit still long enough to hear it. I've thought about it often over the years, and finally dug my carefully preserved copy out to hear it again the other day.

Scott's been gone 18 years now, but this jewel still shines brightly... especially during contentious election years like the current one.

Here it is:

Religion and politics 
Often make some people 
Lose all perspective and 
Give way to ranting and raving and 
Carrying on like emotional children. 
They either refuse to discuss it with reason, 
Or else they prefer argumentum ad hominum, 
Which is a hell of a way to conduct a discussion. 
Well, anyhow, not long ago, 
I was talking about the elections, 
And how the campaigns were ignoring the issues, 
And sticking instead to invective and personal crap 
That had nothing to do with the substantive problems of running a government, 
Which is all true, as you know 
If you followed the speeches and so-called debates of the candidates. 
 Anyhow, one of the guys I was talking with 
Said not a word in the whole conversation 
Except at the end when he suddenly chuckled 
And said we were all full of shit, 
And why didn't we go live in Russia or China 
If that was the way we all hated the United States Of America. 
 Next thing you know the whole blooming discussion 
Was more like a brawl, And the epithets flew thick and fast, 
And the noise was incredible. 
Someone said "son of a bitch", 
And I think he said "bastard". 
I couldn't be sure, it was all so confusing. 
 Well, anyhow, I was attempting 
To get it all back on a rational level. 
I tried, for example, to talk to the one who had started it all, 
And I asked him just what did he mean we were all full of shit. 
Was he making a statement of fact as he knew it, 
And where was his documentation to back up his claim? 
I think Socrates would've been proud of the way I refuted his argument. 
That is, I tried to refute it, 
But all he could offer by way of rebuttal was more of the same 
About how we were all full of shit. 
But he wouldn't say why, 
He just kept on repeating it, 
That and the part about Russia and China 
And communist dupes, and I'll have to confess 
That I got a bit angry and told him to stuff his ideas up his ass, 
Which you don't have to tell me is hardly a way 
To convince anyone in an argument. 
 Then he got salty and threatened to give me 
A punch in the mouth if I didn't shut up, 
And I really got hot, 
And the others did too, 
And we all beat the shit out of mister conservative. 
And, after all, he had only himself to be blamed. 
This is still a free country, And anyone telling a fellow like me, 
"Brother, you're full of shit", 
Better be good and ready 
To answer politely 
When asked if he'd care to say why.